My approach to working with couples.
I believe most couple struggle with communication patterns but it is not as simple as just saying different words or having different attitude, we have to look at why we say what we say. We will take the time to ask what both partners are looking for in therapy and then establish plans and goals.
Techniques and tools used in therapy
-Talking and Listening Boundary exercises
-Family of Origin issues for both partners.
-Timeline for ages Birth to Seventeen
-Addressing unstated expectations
-Looking at Love Addiction and Love Avoidance cycles
-Understanding Ego Regressions
-Understanding Feelings and their roll in communication
-Addressing distorted beliefs systems that might be present
-Addressing mood disorders, addictive patterns or other mental health issues
-Looking at Karpman Triangle (Victim, Offender, and Rescuer roles)
-Addressing Core issues through the Model of Developmental Immaturity
Information to keep in mind when doing couples sessions is as follows: I have a no secrets policy, I expect you to always be direct and honest to the best of your ability and I will do the same, I might recommend one or both partners do individual therapy with another provider (in most cases), one or both parties will be uncomfortable at the end of some sessions but I support you returning. I will refer out to other providers if it becomes clear we are not compatible. I will likely say things that make one or both partners uncomfortable at some point and I consider that part of my job, and that I don't do sessions with a promise to save a relationship but instead to help two individuals to learn how to show up for each other by getting past issues that keep them in unhealthy patterns.
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